Racing through the playground in a ruffled dress at five years old, I wore a puffy pink bow in my hair. That cute little boy in my Sunday school class made my face pink too. A determined little girl, I found a reason to get close to my crush, spotting him at the top of the long slide. Hoping he would notice me, I smiled shyly. Then I experienced rejection for the first time as he left me standing alone, running to play with the other kids.

I stood there frozen, stunned. Then, my head tightened. My face went from…

A soft lamp lit the room as I sat on my bed, holding a bottle of pills. I poured all the white tablets into my hands, taking deep breaths. A full water bottle waited beside me. Closing my eyes, I felt heavy, empty, and disillusioned. Life didn’t appeal to me as it used to. At 23 years old, I struggled to find a reason to stay. The last eight months played out like a psychotic roller coaster. Had it always been like this?

Before I met Josh (fake name), my narcissist ex-boyfriend, I felt like a rockstar at life, at…

Note: This article contains brief descriptions of emotional and physical abuse.

Last summer, I sat on my bedroom floor with a guitar and notebook composing lyrics to express myself: “Over all these years, I shared with you. I gave you my heart, watched it all fall apart. Over all these years, I trusted you. I really believed you would love me too.”

For decades I clung to the hope that they would love me if only I pushed myself hard enough to earn it. Then I discovered two close family members have a narcissistic personality disorder.

Since childhood, I stretched…

I grew up in a religious home, and I get this! My family was very traditional, and we spent tons of time with church people, pastors, and deacons. At the end of the day, women are told to be silent and submissive to men. This causes you to live your life feeling ashamed of existing, of bleeding each month, being sexual, or expressing yourself in any way that might not fit "nice and pretty."

Even then, they'll find something to criticize, like my "crooked smile," or "big feet," or how I'm a "whore" at 13 years old when I wear makeup.

These patriarchal practices in religious are horrible, and I've been trying to gather the courage to write about it. Thank you for sharing this!

After a few dates — and sleepovers — I felt like we had an amazing connection. My new love interest, let’s call him Sam, was charming and thoughtful. We laughed together, went hiking, and had great physical chemistry. What we had was magical. Then Sam decided we were moving too fast. He didn’t want to see me anymore.

Here’s how I imagine a secure woman would handle this situation: “Wow, that’s a surprise. I feel really sad. Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m glad you got to be part of my journey.” This imaginary woman then hugs Sam…

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Walking through my neighborhood, I noticed an old, artsy-looking red book laying out for anyone to take. Skimming the pages, I noticed an accomplished female author had written it. I saw passages on anger, jealousy, and abundance. I took the book.

I am a determined, proactive, and goal-oriented type of person. Yet, I had been feeling anxious regularly; I was burning out at my prestigious tech job. On paper, my career plans were coming along beautifully. But I knew something was wrong. …

Sitting on the floor beside the bed, I felt both drained and restored. I had been sobbing, feeling through another wave of trauma as part of the somatic shadow work process. My body had been carrying hidden pain for years. Through this life-changing journey, I learned to value intuition.

Decades of narcissist abuse had made me feel disconnected from my body. Without accessing my intuitive wisdom, I made many unhelpful decisions. I was a hot mess, from finding toxic work environments to dating narcissistic partners and getting into other emotionally unsafe environments.

My story is all too common. Many of…

A Persistent Optimist’s Reflections

Note: I reference situational depression in this article, not “clinical” depression. I refer to short periods (less than two weeks) of symptoms such as low energy, sadness, restlessness, negative thinking, irritability, or loss of interest.

Last summer was tough. After moving through my morning routine, I remember collapsing on my bed. Around 11 am, I felt drained, heavy, and unmotivated. Not even the bright sun rays shining through my large window could lift my mood. What am I even doing? Will I ever feel happy again?

This memory stands out because I’ve always been a morning person. Friends would describe…