Since starting shadow work last year, my transformation journey has soared. I aim to be relatable and inspiring, using creativity to heal, educate, and empower. Here’s a peek into my soul:
We’ve come a long way, and each time we show up, it’s powerful. Survivors of abuse show strength of spirit every time they smile.
Since readers often ask for resources, here are a few favorites:
I reference this article constantly. Setting healthy boundaries helps me protect my energy, focus on my dreams, and rebuild my self-worth.
“#5. You don’t sufficiently appreciate the importance of your needs and values,” — by Darlene Lancer, an MFT therapist.
I typically write about my current recovery process and how I move through struggles. Lately, I’ve been face-to-face with my inner love void.
Growing up in a narcissistic family, I felt something must be wrong with me for most of my life. One year after discovering I was a victim of narcissistic abuse, I’ve poured thousands of hours into recovery. I’ve taken space from toxic people and sorted through my mental and emotional attachments.
But now I’m face-to-face with my inner love void, like there’s a canyon of emptiness between where I am now and the future me, flourishing.
When narcissists repeatedly invalidate us, we start believing all the good stuff lives in other people. …
I grew up homeschooled in a traditional Christian community, and the adults said I should be “ladylike” to attract a husband. So when multiple men sexually abused me, I assumed it was my fault for being too sexy. When I burned out at my hard-earned tech job, I felt like a failure.
Doing shadow work over the last year has helped me to identify the roots of my suppressed rage.
As I question the “shoulds” and “musts” that I internalized, I wonder: Why do I feel so awkward about my period? How often have I smiled when I felt like…
At 27 years old, I’ve survived a lifetime of narcissistic abuse and repressed femininity. Now, I use creativity to connect, empower, and heal. I choose to metabolize my anger — crisis fuels transformation.
Maybe when we stop settling for less, we won’t tame our feelings, bodies, and ambitions; we’ll start flourishing.
“You don’t push good things away — you welcome them with open arms because you know you are worthy of it all and more.” — by Shahida Arabi, a bestselling author
“Before we can experience a safe, emotionally-whole culture, we have to stop accepting that it’s okay to judge…
Throughout childhood, I experienced narcissistic abuse, what many refer to as repeated “soul-rape.” The abuse came with hugs and the words: “I love you. I’m trying to protect you.”
I always assumed it was my fault that I often felt lonely, insecure, and even worthless. Something must be wrong with me. Am I not engaging, intelligent, or pretty enough for my family to pay attention to me? To love me?
Since my parents homeschooled me, I became immersed…
After a lifetime of narcissistic abuse and cultural misogyny, I use writing as an outlet to connect, empower, and heal. I believe struggles pave the way for our meaning in life—crisis fuels transformation.
Here are six articles to inspire your healing, wholeness, and balance:
Our patriarchal culture has dismissed, diminished, humiliated, shamed, abused, and suppressed women worldwide for many centuries. — by Allison Crady, in “An Injustice!”
The best way to take away a narcissist’s power is to starve them of the incredible amounts of attention they crave. — by Christine Schoenwald, an abuse survivor
They didn’t abuse me because…
Four years ago: Sitting alone on my bed, a pile of pills clinked together in my hands as I fidgeted, I felt ready to end my life. Without narcissist awareness, I blamed myself for the fact that I was feeling completely worthless. I didn’t know my ex-boyfriend and two family members had abused me from day one.
For the past ten months, I’ve poured my whole self into recovery, engaging in shadow work therapy, working with an abuse survivor life coach, joining support groups, studying narcissism and trauma, and processing inner pain. …
Sitting at our kitchen table, my friend asked, “What are your intentions for this mushroom trip?” I just want to get rid of all this darkness. “Greater self-acceptance,” I said. Though I had prepared my space for a zen-like psychedelic journey, I soon felt waves of self-judgment flooding my mind. Tossing around in bed, I endured a distinct sting from flashbacks, numerous moments of judgment towards myself and others.
My psyche zeroed in on what may be my biggest life challenge: high self-judgment. I also gained reverence for mind-altering substances and decided to seek more accountability.
My dad and older brother wrestled on the floor as my mom captured the entertainment on video. At five years old, I felt eager to join. But when I got knocked over, I grew angry. Instead of consoling me, they laughed at me; then, my brothers’ theatrical karate moves took centerstage.
Pouting in the corner, my child-self accepted that my emotions were ridiculous. I’m not cool enough.
A patriarchal Christian lens informed my world beliefs. I unknowingly developed internalized misogyny. I became “one of the boys” to avoid seeming weak. Subconsciously, I equated feminine with stupid; believing men were inherently…
❤️ Writing on psychology, feminism, and relationships. Words in: The Ascent, Better Advice, Fearless She Wrote, CYMCYL, An Injustice, and The Virago. (she/her)