Since starting shadow work last year, my transformation journey has soared. I aim to be relatable and inspiring, using creativity to heal, educate, and empower. Here’s a peek into my soul:
As I grew up, religious repression kept me abstinent; I had to escape the fear of hellfire. But by college, I became rebellious. Recently I realized that my sexual activity puts me in the top one percent of promiscuous women in America… and I’m only 27 years old.
Though I often feel proud of my sex drive, I’ve also endured slut-shaming, externally and internally. Instead of feeling confident and blessed by my sexuality, I sometimes felt “cheap” and “easy.”
Reflecting on my experiences and influences, I’ve untangled numerous unhelpful judgments on female sexuality. Studying feminine literature, working with a depth…
It’s been one year since my Jungian therapist helped me identify narcissism in my birth family. I took a work sabbatical and began retreating into my space, literally and emotionally. As weak relationships broke down, the sense of isolation intensified.
I believe this immense recovery challenge leads me to a higher life purpose. Though it’s been a Goddamn long year, inch by inch, I’m gaining a new life.
Somewhere deep down, I always knew something was wrong, but I never imagined how dysfunctional my childhood really was. …
After a few scrappy startups, I landed a role at Google, then switched to Facebook, where I gained more money and leadership opportunities. My career plan was moving along smoothly; I never imagined leaving. Move to San Francisco, cultivate UX mentorships, build credibility, and earn a multi-six-figure income while solving the world’s most critical problems.
But gradually, my inner pain grew too loud to ignore. It’s been one year since I turned in my credentials at Facebook, and I have no desire to continue building a career in technology.
Despite the external success, I felt anxious, disillusioned, tired, stressed out…
Over the past year, I’ve published a few dozen articles on repeated emotional, sexual, and physical abuse. With writing skills and creative courage, I detailed my most painful memories and embarrassing secrets in a way that felt freeing and empowering.
Though hitting “publish” often feels scary as hell, after decades of people-pleasing, I refuse to remain silent; it’s working.
With each article, I decide that my truth matters more than making people feel comfortable or protecting abusers. I validate my right to take up space in the world.
By sharing painful stories, I get to write a brave new ending…
We’ve come a long way, and each time we show up, it’s powerful. Survivors of abuse show strength of spirit every time they smile.
Since readers often ask for resources, here are a few favorites:
I reference this article constantly. Setting healthy boundaries helps me protect my energy, focus on my dreams, and rebuild my self-worth.
“#5. You don’t sufficiently appreciate the importance of your needs and values,” — by Darlene Lancer, an MFT therapist.
I typically write about my current recovery process and how I move through struggles. Lately, I’ve been face-to-face with my inner love void.
Growing up in a narcissistic family, I felt something must be wrong with me for most of my life. One year after discovering I was a victim of narcissistic abuse, I’ve poured thousands of hours into recovery. I’ve taken space from toxic people and sorted through my mental and emotional attachments.
But now I’m face-to-face with my inner love void, like there’s a canyon of emptiness between where I am now and the future me, flourishing.
When narcissists repeatedly invalidate us, we start believing all the good stuff lives in other people. …
I grew up homeschooled in a traditional Christian community, and the adults said I should be “ladylike” to attract a husband. So when multiple men sexually abused me, I assumed it was my fault for being too sexy. When I burned out at my hard-earned tech job, I felt like a failure.
Doing shadow work over the last year has helped me to identify the roots of my suppressed rage.
As I question the “shoulds” and “musts” that I internalized, I wonder: Why do I feel so awkward about my period? How often have I smiled when I felt like…
At 27 years old, I’ve survived a lifetime of narcissistic abuse and repressed femininity. Now, I use creativity to connect, empower, and heal. I choose to metabolize my anger — crisis fuels transformation.
Maybe when we stop settling for less, we won’t tame our feelings, bodies, and ambitions; we’ll start flourishing.
“You don’t push good things away — you welcome them with open arms because you know you are worthy of it all and more.” — by Shahida Arabi, a bestselling author
“Before we can experience a safe, emotionally-whole culture, we have to stop accepting that it’s okay to judge…
Throughout childhood, I experienced narcissistic abuse, what many refer to as repeated “soul-rape.” The abuse came with hugs and the words: “I love you. I’m trying to protect you.”
I always assumed it was my fault that I often felt lonely, insecure, and even worthless. Something must be wrong with me. Am I not engaging, intelligent, or pretty enough for my family to pay attention to me? To love me?
Since my parents homeschooled me, I became immersed…
❤️ Writing on psychology, feminism, and relationships. Words in: The Ascent, Better Advice, Fearless She Wrote, CYMCYL, An Injustice, and The Virago. (she/her)