Hey Leah — thank you so much for sharing this! I’m nine months into my healing journey (I discovered two narcissist family members, at least one narcissist romantic parter, at least three narcissist housemates and likely several others in different capacities).
Your message rings true. I just found “becoming the narcissists worst nightmare” book, and it gave me a breakthrough. Wow, I can idealize myself. I can take all that energy I used to admire all those “great men,” and put it directly onto myself.
I’m feeling so much freer, more clear about what I want (others have already been surprised by my clarity), and I am falling in love with myself. And yes, to your point, I am so unapologetically me. I am beautiful. (Others have been noticing this as well, lol).
It’s a dark, scary, and horrible journey that brought us here. But we made it!!! As Hannah Gadsby said, “There’s nothing stronger than a broken women who rebuilt herself.”